User blog:Awesomesix/Yrotsih Fo Selttab Par Cipe: DWASSHOLE vs Loygasm
The swagmelon Loygasm faces off against the buttmuffin DWASSHOLE to see who's mixtape is true fire. Breh. |-| Battle= WHO THE FUCK RENEWED ANOTHER BATTLE FOR THIS? LOYGASM? VERSUS DWASS…HOLE… Get this over with… Loygasm: What you gonna do? You’re a hole full of poo! But enough about DWAS! You belong in a zoo! DWASSHOLE? More like dingus, you pingus flingus, I’ll make you sore like a spore, you fingus amingus, You can’t take my Meat, I’m better than Piet, I smell sexy like the sweet wet sex I secrete! DWASSHOLE: DWASSY G IS IN THE HOUSE, FOR RIZZUH, CAN’T HANDLE ME OR MAH MAIN MAN TIGGUH, Tigguh: For shizzuh. DWASSHOLE: ALL CAPS LOCK, THAT’S HOW I ROLLIN’, DWASBALL, THIS LOYGASM CAN’T GRASP HOW I RAP AT ALL, BIG BALLS AIN’T ALL, I ADMINISTRATE YOUR FALL, YOUR FIRST VERSE WAS THE WORST, YOU BRATWURST DINGLEBALL! Loygasm: I’m a dingleberry, now feel the scary wrath of this fairy! I’m about to go 200000x dope and show weight you can’t carry: HFGUHOD FOGFIPOGFDHIPOPFDHG GIPFGPIFPDIGPI FD! DFHOGOUFDGH GDFOGHOFDGHUOFDG GUOOGUFOGF XD! JGFDJISPDPJSDF PISDFPIGJPIJDFGPIJFG FFO! GJDJHOGOIJHD HOIGDGIIOFDGIOGDF MMO! See that? That’s what the meaning of my flag is! I live in a country, I’ll eat you like haggis! You smeel more than Meat! Meat: Fuck you. Loygasm: Time to eat defeat! Oh yes, it’s true! DWASSHOLE: SUCK THIS, YOU’RE A FRUIT CUP BUMNUT! I DON’T TAKE SHIT FROM AN UGLY DUMBNUT! Tigguh: For rizzizzle. DWASSHOLE: GIVE THESE NUTS A TICKLE, WATCH MY FLOW DRIBBLE, LIKE YOUR BABY BRAIN, WHICH SMELLS LIKE A PICKLE! Cookies and Milk: Cookiesandmilk Cookiesandmilk What you gonna do about cookiesandmilk I smell good, cookiesandmilk I just ate, cookiesandmilk Epicnail: What is this supposed to mean? Cookies and Milk: It means that I wear green jeans, real mean jeans, Better than Jimmy Dean jeans, mystery machine sheen, That’s my shine, my time, I rhyme Cookiesandmilk, cookiesandmilk Boobdove: I won the tourney, on an incredible journey, It’s time I leave all you suckers hurting! Loygasm? More like Loy-give it up! Why don’t you get some guts and type a real verse up? And DWASSHOLE, the caps lock ASSHOLE, I’ll stick to my roots, kiss my ass like the Blarney castle! I’m vicious, superstitious, just ask my majestic dove symbolism! I may have short lines, but this tit makes up with minimalism! Loygasm: Did somebody say breasts? Mikhail Gorbachev: Did somebody say, birthmarks? Yo, I’m the host with the most glasscock, assholes, I made a nest because the north got cold, It’s on top of McDonalds, I made it with bottles, no doubt! If you have letters in your name, it’s time to get out! I had the balls to live on top of McDonalds, baby! Collected those bottles with the Kool-Aid Man! Kool-Aid Man: Oh yeah! Mikhail Gorbachev: You need a tampon, you need a lowercase, Дa! And you all need to learn not to spit shit from your face! Cabbage: Did somebody say, real power? Captain Warrior: No! Cabbage: ДA, YOU WANT TO- WHO THE FUCK MADE THIS? WHO’S NEXT? FUCKIN’ NOBODY, THAT’S WHO! EPIC RAP BATTLES OF… I give up. Tigguh: Fo shizzuh. |-| Rap Meanings= Loygasm: What you gonna do? You’re a hole full of poo! (Loygasm starts off by asking DWASSHOLE how he expects to win, and points out the fact that he is nothing but an unwiped butthole, which cannot rap.) But enough about DWAS! You belong in a zoo! (He then follows this up by claiming that he’s had enough with DWASSHOLE, and that he should be locked away in a zoo. This also references the infamous DWASSHOLE Election of 1990, where DWASSHOLE had lost drastically and admitted defeat by locking himself in a monkey cage at the local zoo and throwing feces at people.) DWASSHOLE? More like dingus, you pingus flingus, (A dingus is an insult for someone who is dumb. DWASSHOLE never did well in school, and flunked twice, until he got interested in politics in Ninth Grade. Pingus is slang for ping, which is another term for sexual comments towards women, and Loygasm is saying DWASSHOLE has made many of these, or was a “pingus flingus”, flingus meaning thrower, which itself was a scandal during DWASSHOLE’S first run for office in 1990, where many women claimed he hit on them inappropriately.) I’ll make you sore like a spore, you fingus amingus, (In DWASSHOLE’s first rap album as DWASSY G, “Soaring with Spores”, DWASSHOLE raps about his mushroom trips and how he can relate to those who do them. Loygasm is saying that he will make DWASSHOLE feel like one of said spores, and follows up by calling him a thing, or “fingus”, mingled in with the commoners, or “amingus”. Fingus Amingus is a slur used against mushroom farmers.) You can’t take my Meat, I’m better than Piet, (Loygasm frequently sells cabbage salads to the homeless for charity, which include bacon. He is also good platonic friends with porn star Jorn “Meat” Van Essen. Loygasm is saying that DWASSHOLE cannot only fail at stealing his bacon, but also would fail at having successful sex with Meat. Piet McCaptain, A.K.A. Cookies and Milk, a tween pop star, is DWASSHOLE’s biggest rival in the business, being the preferred by teen girls. Loygasm is telling DWASSHOLE he is better than his largest rival.) I smell sexy like the sweet wet sex I secrete! (Loygasm is often known for his comedic ramblings, which many women find arousing. He often does these ramblings in a very flowing way, or “secretes” them. He also runs his own cabbage mint breath freshener called “That Pussy”, which is one of the most bough Christmas gifts each year. Along with this, Loygasm is known for his sexual charm and arrogance, often many female celebrities remarking on how intimate and erotic their “time” was. In other words, Loygasm is saying his lines are as pleasuring as a session with him.) DWASSHOLE: DWASSY G IS IN THE HOUSE, FOR RIZZUH, (After failing his running for president, DWASSHOLE became a mainstream rapper. During this, many of his early songs portrayed him becoming the president and owning the white house, and organizing an army of prostitutes. His signature phrase is “For rizzuh”, which has been in the name of two of his songs, most famously “The White House For Rizzuh”. The term “in the house” is a double entendre, saying he is both present at the battle and is the leader in the white house. Basically, he is announcing his arrival.) CAN’T HANDLE ME OR MAH MAIN MAN TIGGUH, (DWASSHOLE, as his rapper persona Dwassy G, is managed by the hit producer, Tigger Swanson, A.K.A. Tigguh Da Ghetto. Tigger is seen backing him up in many of his dis tracks and is a frequent guest on his works, even writing interviews for him. Here, DWASSHOLE is saying together, they are unstoppable, and Loygasm is no match for them.) '' Tigguh: '''For shizzuh.' (Tigger’s most famous quote is “For shizzuh.”, which he said when a women angrily asked if he was staring at her nose, which was shaped like breasts. Here, he’s implying DWASSHOLE is saying the truth.) DWASSHOLE: ALL CAPS LOCK, THAT’S HOW I ROLLIN’, DWASBALL, (DWASSHOLE is known for typing his lyrics in all caps, due to how he screams them. The screaming is due to writing all his songs out loud while constipated, to get the true anger he thinks should possess his rhymes. The DWASBALL was a campaign sticker DWASSHOLE used in his running, which had little bouncy balls with his face on them. He later used one as the cover for his single “That’s How I Rollin’ (Dis Blunt Up Good)”. The line here is also a reference to that song’s chorus, “ALL DAY LONG, ALL DAY LONG, THAT’S HOW I ROLLIN’, FO RIZZUH, FO RIZZUH”.) THIS LOYGASM CAN’T GRASP HOW I RAP AT ALL, (This is a reference to his first dis track against Billy Bob Jones Davis, A.K.A. Boob Dove, after his remark about “DWASSHOLE’s rhymes are slightly above average”, in which DWASSHOLE responded by farting into a microphone then saying “THIS POO CAN’T GRASP HOW I RAP AT ALL” 400 times. Only here, “POO” is replaced with “Loygasm”, Loygasm’s name.) BIG BALLS AIN’T ALL, I ADMINISTRATE YOUR FALL, (Many of the women Loygasm has sex with say his balls are gigantic. DWASSHOLE claims he owns Loygasm’s balls, as he would “own” Loygasm if he wins, but also will be responsible for his downfall. Loygasm is an Administrator on Cabbageforcharity.com, where he is in charge of tracking down the donations. DWASSHOLE is saying he is powerful and bigger than Loygasm, in more ways than one.) YOUR FIRST VERSE WAS THE WORST, YOU BRATWURST DINGLEBALL! (DWASSHOLE disliked Loygasm’s first verse, claiming it was “the worst”. He then follows it up by calling him a Bratwurst Dingeball, which is one of his rival rappers, Lil Lakky Lakk, entitled “DWASSHOLE Ain’t Nothing But a Bratwurst An’a Dingleball (I Love Kittens)”, but DWASSHOLE twists the words in his favor, saying Loygasm is a flaccid penis (hotdog) and a piece of shit (dingleberry).) Loygasm: I’m a dingleberry, now feel the scary wrath of this fairy! (Loygasm admits he may be a piece of shit, as he often pulls pranks on talk show host Ryan Yankerson, whom often calls him “A little shit”. Many women claim Loygasm’s prowess is that of a fairy, light and brilliant, as well as mystical and erotic. Loygasm uses this and pairs it with his ruthlessness against DWASSHOLE, two phrases that contrast.) I’m about to go 200000x dope and show weight you can’t carry: (DWASSHOLE is infamous for regularly snorting weed before recording, or doing dope. Dope also refers to having great rapping skills, and part of rapping skills is flow, which, when rambling, Loygasm has. Loygasm’s saying his skills are far better than DWASSHOLE could ever use.) HFGUHOD FOGFIPOGFDHIPOPFDHG GIPFGPIFPDIGPI FD! (Loygasm says that DWASSHOLE’s mother should have chucked him into a dumpster, referencing Dwassy G’s own song, “Dumpster Baby (Is How My Hoez R Born)”. He also says that he should have abandoned his political skills in the dumpster, seeing as how he did not win.) DFHOGOUFDGH GDFOGHOFDGHUOFDG GUOOGUFOGF XD! (Here, Loygasm claims that not only is DWASSHOLE a pathetic dancer, but also should go back home and jerk off to Loygasm’s interviews on his recording toilet. He claims his constipation is DWASSHOLE’s dance instructor, and that he has learned well in how to suck at dancing.) JGFDJISPDPJSDF PISDFPIGJPIJDFGPIJFG FFO! (Loygasm, unlike DWASSHOLE, is a successful politician. He recently allowed female into the army, and says he treats them with respect. A scandal recently came out where Loygasm was accused with sleeping with his general, to which she responds “i supply anal”, and was instead promoted for her honesty, and given a free sticker. They later got married. Loygasm is also implying DWASSHOLE should sign up for his all-female army, where he would finally fit in.) GJDJHOGOIJHD HOIGDGIIOFDGIOGDF MMO! (Loygasm says DWASSHOLE should return to being a politician, where he would be able to run for once, calling him unfit. Garry Garry, A.K.A. Big Baby GG, is another of DWASSHOLE’s rivals, a soft country artist who made a song titled “I Love Monkeys Until They Throw Poop At Me”, saying DWASSHOLE is said monkeys, and claims he has a gay relationship with Garry.) See that? That’s what the meaning of my flag is! (Loygasm’s country, Scotland, had its flag remade to incorporate Loygasm’s cabbages in the background. In the video, he gestures to a cage in the background. When asked in an interview, he said “Cabbages? To me, they mean freedom. They mean the right to say whatever. They also smell good.” He’s saying his flag and lines smell good.) I live in a country, I’ll eat you like haggis! (Loygasm lives in Scotland, which’s national food, tree, and bird are haggis, one of Loygasm’s favorite treats. He’s saying he will eat DWASSHOLE.) You smeel more than Meat! (Jorn “Meat” Van Hessen made a PSA about butter awareness after bombarded about rubbing butter on dildos before using them on the women in his videos. To smeel something is to rub butter on a badger, and Loygasm compares the butter covered dildos to badgers. DWASSHOLE had two songs, “Butter Up Ur Nutz Boiiii” and “Ur Nutz R Badgers”, and Loygasm mentions these as him “smeeling”, although it could just mean he “smells”.) Meat: Fuck you. (Meat was offended by this statement. As well as this, Meat fucks many women, men, and sentient eggplants.) Loygasm: Time to eat defeat! Oh yes, it’s true! (Loygasm donates cabbages to starving orphans to eat. He is saying he shall feed DWASSHOLE defeat.) DWASSHOLE: SUCK THIS, YOU’RE A FRUIT CUP BUMNUT! (DWASSHOLE thinks Loygasm should suck his dick. He proceeds to call Loygasm a fruit cup bumnut, meaning he is a gay asshole. In his songs, DWASSHOLE calls everybody a fruit cup, most notably in his song “No Town 4 Fruit Cupz (Boiiiiiii Doggy 4)”, which has gotten media flack for its sheer lack of bagpipes.) I DON’T TAKE SHIT FROM AN UGLY DUMBNUT! (Many women think Loygasm is sexy, which DWASSHOLE disagrees with, thinking he is ugly, and stupid. DWASSHOLE makes many songs about how he thinks ugly people are Hitler, including in his song “Hitlah Iz Alive N Well In Uranus”, where he insults the listener by saying Hitler has made residence in their asshole. He also made a song “Hitlah Ain’t Mah Homie, Homie” where he states he hates Hitler. He is calling Loygasm Hitler.) Tigguh: For rizzizzle. (Tigger once again agrees with DWASSHOLE. In an interview DWASSHOLE had with Shaun McPhalluck, Tigger wrote it so he only answered “For rizzizzle” to all questions.) '' DWASSHOLE: '''GIVE THESE NUTS A TICKLE, WATCH MY FLOW DRIBBLE,' (DWASSHOLE made two songs which are referenced by the first half, being “Tickle My Nutz” and “My Nutz Be Tickled”, both referring to stimulation of his pet walnut, Boom Boom. He then says his flow will dribble, or flow like water, referring to Loygasm’s wet sex line. It is also a reference to dribbling in basketball, which DWASHOLE refers to when talking about tea bagging.) LIKE YOUR BABY BRAIN, WHICH SMELLS LIKE A PICKLE! (DWASSHOLE calls Loygasm immature and says he has the IQ of a baby. Loygasm jokingly said he bathes in pickles during an interview, which many men took seriously and developed AIDS as a result. DWASSHOLE believes Loygasm has AIDS and says the reason is his bathing.) Cookies and Milk: Cookiesandmilk (Cookies and Milk’s Twitter tag is Cookiesandmilk.) Cookiesandmilk (Cookies and Milk mistakes everything for Twitter, his parents have to help him differentiate.) What you gonna do about cookiesandmilk (Cookies and Milk is DWASSHOLE’s biggest musical rival. He makes songs about how he gives Santa Claus cookies and milk and is a good kid. He is saying he is unstoppable.) I smell good, cookiesandmilk ' ''(Cookies and Milk likes to eat cookies, which smell good. His logic is, he smells good because of this.) '''I just ate, cookiesandmilk (To “eat someone alive” is to destroy them in a rap battle. Here, he uses the phrase “I just ate” to infer that.) Epicnail: What is this supposed to mean? ' ''(Nails are rather stupid, so Epicnail has no clue what Cookies and Milk means.) Cookies and Milk: '''It means that I wear green jeans, real mean jeans, (Cookies and Milk’s first single, “I Wear Green Jeans” was about how his pants were green. He is saying his green pants make him look cook, or “real mean”.) Better than Jimmy Dean jeans, mystery machine sheen, (Jimmy Dean is Cookies and Milk’s father, and he constantly gives his son his old jeans, which he wears as hats. The Mystery Machine Sheen is a movie Jimmy Dean was a part of in the 1980s about a half man half Jupiter with cool jeans solving crime.) That’s my shine, my time, I rhyme (Cookies and Milk says he shines like the Mystery Machine sheen, and that it’s time, after his father’s. “I Rhyme” was the name of Cookies and Milk’s mixtape, which sold better than DWASSHOLE’s by $400,000,000.) Cookiesandmilk, cookiesandmilk (Cookies and Milk.) Boobdove: I won the tourney, on an incredible journey, (Billy Bob Jones Davis won a tournament against DWASSHOLE four years in a row since its start three years ago. He used the tourney to gain fame for his mixtape, “I Did It (The Journey)”.) It’s time I leave all you suckers hurting! (In Boob Dove’s last rap battle, a member of the opposing team was injured after backing offstage whilst saying “Ohhhh!” to a line Boob Dove said. Davis is saying he will do the same here, leave the others in awe from his disses so bad they hurt themselves.) Loygasm? More like Loy-give it up! ' ''(Davis is known for purposely making bad puns of people’s names in his songs. Loygasm’s opponent in his election was Timantha McKelly, who made the campaign “Time for Loygasm to “Loy-give up!”, but lost due to not being an actual woman but instead a sentient eggplant.) '''Why don’t you get some guts and type a real verse up? (Rumors were falsely started that Loygasm did not right his speeches. Dave is claiming that said fact is true for his verse as well, blaming said actions on being a coward.) And DWASSHOLE, the caps lock ASSHOLE, (DWASSHOLE uses caps lock to type his verses. DWASSHOLE comes from his real name, Dwas Weenis Washington, and “asshole”, so calling him an asshole is quite fitting.) '' '''I’ll stick to my roots, kiss my ass like the Blarney castle!' (Davis was born in the Blarney Castle Hospital, where Loygasm toured and a nurse kissed his butt to show her approval of him. It is often said that Davis’s spirit animal is a potato, which have roots. Here, he is stating he will stick to his roots, and will have DWASSHOLE kiss his butt much like the nurse kissed Loygasm’s.) '' '''I’m vicious, superstitious, just ask my majestic dove symbolism!' (In his tournament verses, he is known for lyrically describing how he will murder his opponents. He also believes in ghosts, describing what will happen to the ghosts as well. In his first movie, “King of the Thrill”, doves are seen every time he raps, symbolizing his purity in wrap. He is saying said doves can tell you about his rapping skills because there are always doves in his rapping scenes. The doves are also a pun on his title, Boob Dove.) '' '''I may have short lines, but this tit makes up with minimalism!' (Like usual, Davis’s lines are short. His stage name, Boob Dove, contains boob, which is another word for tit. Minimalism uses as little detail as possible, and Davis’s lines were rather short. He’s saying his verses are short but are a type of art. This is also a reference to the artist, Kevin Steeler, who paints simple paintings of blue tit birds. He was arrested in 2006 due to slacking off and selling his paintings on the black market to hobos. He did time by painting buttered dildos for Meat.) Loygasm: Did somebody say breasts? (Loygasm likes breasts and long walks on the beach.) Mikhail Gorbachev: Did somebody say, birthmarks? (Mikhail Gorbachev gave birth to Karl Eeray-Jepsan Marks on July 4, 2006. He is concerned for his daughter’s health, so he steps in to save her from the torture.) Yo, I’m the host with the most glasscock, assholes, (Mikhail Gorbachev hosts a talk show with frequent guest Matt Glasscock, a blues rapper. In 1999, Gorbachev made a speech about how he had found his true self in becoming a bird, ending the speech with “Fuck you ugly fucking asshole fuckers, assholes.” before being reborn as a phoenix. Here, he is calling everyone assholes and is saying he will turn into a phoenix.) I made a nest because the north got cold, (As his first act of being a phoenix, he made a nest on top of a local McDonalds because winter was coming and he wanted to make sure his child, Birth Marks, had a warm place to eat.) '' '''It’s on top of McDonalds, I made it with bottles, no doubt!' (Said nest is indeed on top of McDonalds, and contains Glasscock’s albums so he can jam out whilst warming the restaurant for his children. He made the nest with the intent to clean up the environment around him, so used all the bottles he could find around him and made a castle. This is an undeniable, or undoubtable fact.) If you have letters in your name, it’s time to get out! (Unlike the other rappers, Mikhail Gorbachev changed his name to be spelled “6765-45443-3539-868-765-55-5465745-646545”, which he did so his would stand out. Therefore, unlike the others, he has no letters in his name, meaning he can stay, while the other rappers cannot.) I had the balls to live on top of McDonalds, baby! (Gorbachev pays his rent in beach balls for the kids at the McDonalds, and since he founded a beach ball orchord, he has them in a vast supply. In a sense, he had the beach balls to pay rent, therefore had the balls to live on McDonalds.) Collected those bottles with the Kool-Aid Man! (Mikhail Gorbachev’s daughter, Karl Marks, is actually the Kool-Aid man. She helped him make his nest.) Kool-Aid Man: Oh yeah! (Karl went to therapy for 6 years after she was kidnapped and converted into a giant pitcher of Kool-Aid and held ransom. Afterwards, the Kool-Aid company forced her to become their mascot, resulting in Gorbachev farting flames onto their factories and bankrupting them. However, Karl can only say “Oh Yeah” now thanks to the stress of being a mascot. Here, it is also used to show she supports her dad’s claims.) Mikhail Gorbachev: You need a tampon, you need a lowercase, a! (Loygasm often complains about periods ruining his sex life, saying that they smell bad. Gorbachev wants to shove one up his anus to make him explode. As said before, DWASSHOLE uses caps lock too much.) And you all need to learn not to spit shit from your face! (There was a rumor that in a fatal incident in 2004, DWASSHOLE fell into a pile of flooded porta-potties, but was wearing scuba gear after skydiving. The next day, he was in the hospital, having his stomach pumped due to the excrement entering in his snorkel. However, DWASSHOLE only went to the hospital due to crying too much at the end of Shark Tales. Gorbachev believes this rumor is true, and that all the rapping he has heard is the equivalent of said rumor.) Cabbage: Did somebody say, real power? (Cabbages cannot hear anything, so jump to conclusions multiple times, often ending up in prison or surprise orgies because of this.) Captain Warrior: No! (Captain Warrior needed money so he made a cameo.) Cabbage: 'A, YOU WANT TO-' (Cabbage finally could hear, and was offended, so he exploded.) Who won? DWASSHOLE and Tigguh Loygasm and Meat Cookiesandmilk and Epicnail Mikhail Gorbachev and the Kool-Aid Man Boobdove Cabbages Category:Blog posts